This is going to be very hard to discuss, but fuck it, ain’t nothing hard if you just keep it Infinity….. I’ve gotten word that my brother reached out to her and met up with her, and I heard that they’re both doing real good, just happy to see each other and happy being on good terms. I’m proud of my brother, congrats to him. When my pops was out here in the summer time visiting from California, my brother had trully opened up to me in a way I never seen him open up. Especially seeing he’s my older brother, it was eerie seeing him that way, but he never vented like that to anybody. I had to basically tell him to stop that, because everything he was feeling was the way I felt when I got left and abandoned in 2005. I got played, and I had to grow up mentally in a mindstate that nobody really got to. Never even got to live the life of an average 15 to 16 year old like anybody else did, but what helped me channel my energy into a positive way?! It was my music. So it was really good that for him to say he misses not having a mother or a father he can ever see but the father for once a year; to hear him now at peace with his mom, I respect that of him and I’m proud of him.
But fuck that shit, I ain’t NEVA going. My situation is completely different, and it’s funny but the only mutha fucka who could ever talk me into some shit like that IS my brother, only because HE knows of the only and same pain we had growing up, except our exit from each other ended pretty different, and that’s where she corrupted my love for her.
I’m not saying I won’t ever just R.I.P. her and leave it at that, I’m not cold hearted to just never ever forgive anybody. But I got a backbone, and it’s limits at what you CAN do in my life and what you CAN’T do.