California Lust, maybe.
Well, that time has came. I should’ve knew this would happen, especially considering where I’m at now. My closest cousin and a good friend of mine told me this would happen, but my in denial ass said it wouldn’t happen. I have a friend out here, we have yet to chill and we was suppose to chill on my birthday and smoke but we never did. We’re suppose to hang out this weekend, and the more I talk to her, I think the more I like her. Yet, somewhere deep down I’m telling myself don’t fall in the sucka trap. I have to focus on why I decided to move out here, business over all pleasure. But at the end of the day, I may just treat this like most friendships. A lot if friendships, I always kept my distance from or either just kept them friendly by holding secrets that I liked the girls, only so no friendship would get ruined. I have a 2 person history of ruining great friendships due to the relationships hurting them. Hurt as in, after a relationship, no matter how cool we are , the friendship won’t go back to how it was before. Well this ain’t Chicago and I need as many networking & friendships, true bonds if anything. And from the looks of things, I’ll need her more than anything. I just need a close friend I can look out for so my human moral can stay consistent. My good guy life will pay off soon but I can’t search shit. Whatever happens happens, but until then, I love the direction my life has took me. This L.A. lifestyle is chill as fuck. I’ll keep feelings at a distance unless given an opportunity, but that shit isn’t what I NEED right now. Mere wants are only illusions at the end of the day.